The Wisdom of Ana

Every Wednesdays around two in the afternoon, my friend Ana would drop by with coffee. I have learned to hold my need for caffein during these days since i know i'd be treated with one eventually anyway. I have known Ana for a few months now, and I always look forward to our Wednesday rituals together. My very own Wednesdays with Ana! 

Ana is a babysitter extraordinaire; A well-recommended-evolved-version of the 'nanny.' She has been a sitter for quite a while now. She has been with numerous families who kept on passing her within the kin, recommending her to friends and acquiring high profile (rich) clients. We would start our meetings with me watching the current kid(s) while she gets the coffee. We would talk about her then-family and compare them with our lives. 

"The sofa tells me how i would charge them for my services" - Ana

This week's lecture was from a fable she read while keeping one of her kids busy. It was the myth on Camels and how they were created. I listened while she told the story with glee: hands were everywhere, her eyes bulging at every remarkable transformation - i feel lucky that i don't get charged for her storytelling services.

It all started when the Horse, the most prestigious creation Zeus has ever made for the animal kingdom, approached its creator one afternoon. It basically requested for an upgrade. Regardless the fact that it was envied by the rest of the animals, the Horse still wanted more. The Horse being the most loved and celebrated creature envied the Lion's muscles (to defeat predators), it envied the giraffe's long neck (to see over everything else) and it envied the great Bear's warm furry coat. 

"tadah, the Camel!" - Ana

Of course the Horse hated it's could-be-upgrade and settled for its current appearance. Zeus kept the Camel to forever remind the Horse of its once ambitious self-centered greediness. Funny how nowadays it seemed to be the other way around. Camels want to go thru the upgrade and become Horses. Although, in the fable - the Camel probably was happy with its outcome and never really wanted anything else. I don't want to be profound by saying that we are all Horses and Camels, i do admit, though, that I'm mostly the Camel wanting the upgrade. Could Unicorns be the gays - the crossbreed between the two?

"It's normal to be a Horse: wanting change, wanting betterment. It's not bad being the Camel: nonchalant and contended." - Ana

As long as you keep your insecurities to yourself and mind your own business. As long as you don't influence others' feelings and points of view. As long as no one is hurt - you can be the Horse, i really don't care. 

The Law of Diminishing Returns

Although slightly drunk, i thought my conversation with Mira last night was worth every hiccup and headache. i woke up with a smile and a realization that, although regretful in some measurement, i did good: in love, in life and where i am right now. i can't really say i am, what was that Mike? - happy, but i surely can pat my own back and understand that i have grown and i have had a good journey all these years.

The law of diminishing returns states that as equal quantities of one variable are increased, while other factor inputs remain constant, ceteris paribus, a point is reached beyond which the addition of one more unit of the variable factor will result in a diminishing rate of return and the marginal physical product will fall. i have never really enjoyed Economics then, i even had to take the damned course twice, but this particular law does make sense. Now correct me if i am wrong, my understanding is that, the more a person consumes a product, the lesser the satisfaction he gets in return. That probably explains why my emotions were beyond disinterest when i had to take Economics for the second time. 

Reasonably, my points of view are in accordance to my self in general. I may have altered some facts that may give justice to the more profound meaning of the law - i apologize. I am chauvinistic; i magnify life's simplicity, a blind enthusiasm in approaching reality and i am very biased to what would please me. 

It's not a surprise that i am once again single (funny, i was never in a relationship anyway).  i can say that i have honestly surpassed the stage of bitterness and mourning months before i decided to call it quits. i have put my life on hold for a regretful amount of time and i have decided to make changes that are more eventful. Although the law may be forced to explain my decision making, it made me realize what i am worth and what i truly need and want in a partner and a relationship. It may be unfair for me to say that my feelings have expired and/or, as the law would say, there is contrast to the increase that would otherwise be expected - i ask myself, have i simply lost interest? Since emotions are imprecise, i'd like to be categorical by saying I have familiarized myself with what he can produce - i am no longer appeased.

My lead once quoted me during a company meeting while he was addressing the lower constituents, saying "I'd rather that you hate me and become successful." i smiled, he continued "in the future you'd look back and understand why i was mean to you back then." I have reached my Miranda level at work (i have been inspired by amazing people). I may be the most difficult person to work with, what i know for sure is that everything i do has a reason, a purpose and a consequence. I am where i am now because i know my capacity and my weaknesses. The law is best expressed here: I have mastered my skill. I need new challenges. My expectations no longer meet what i am given to work with. My end results have been the same, consistent. Galadriel once said, "I have passed the test, i will diminish and go to the West, and remain Galadriel." My time is now.

Maybe i am using the economic rule to justify the changes that i want to happen in my life? Maybe i am giving reason to a frustration that i can't admit to myself wholeheartedly? Maybe i need reason to back me up? Maybe.  

What i know for sure is that i am determined. Aside for my two week plan that has been slightly discriminated (chot!), i have my yellow brick road commenced. I am ready.